商務信函寫作行文簡潔有力，重點突出

　　商務英語的書信寫作中，應當力圖行文簡潔有力，重點突出，以下是在這方面學要注意的點。

　　（一） 避免使用陳舊的商業(yè)術語

　　陳舊的與傳統(tǒng)的商業(yè)術語（Commercial jargon）對信的內容沒有什么作用，應該避免使用。

　　例一： Wordy: We wish to acknowledge receipt of your letter of November 14 with the check for Stg.10 enclosed and wish to thank you for same. Concise: We appreciate your letter of November 14 and the check for Stg. 10 you sent with it.

　　例二： Wordy: We take liberty to approach you with the request that you would be kind enough to introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your cities. Would you please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city? Concise: (a) Please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city. (b)Would you please introduce to us some exporters of cotton textiles in your city. （注：此類簡潔的表達方式很多。）

　�。ǘ�） 要長話短說，避免羅嗦

　　通常商業(yè)人士每天需要閱讀大量的書信，對開門見山，長話短說，直接切題的信特別歡迎。因此， 寫信要力求長話短說，

　　例如：不要寫 應寫作 Please see that an enquiry is conducted to determine the reason. Please find out the reason. We express our regret at being unable to fulfill your order on this occasion. We are sorry we cannot meet your present order. 要使用簡潔的語言，有可能的話， 盡量使用單詞來代替某些嬌柔做作的短語。

　　刪去不必要的形容詞，如下列句子中的'形容詞或副詞刪去后并不影響句子的原意： The proposal is under (active) consideration. The answer is (definitely) correct. I would (rather) think the fare is too high. The (true) facts are as stated.

　　（三） 要注意每句句子的長短

　　例如："We would like to know whether you would allow us to extend the time of shipment for twenty days, and if you would be so kind as to allow us to do so, kindly give us your reply by cable without delay." 這句話過分"客氣"，使句子過長而不清楚。內容要求對方同意延期交貨20天，一般情況下，應盡可能提出延期到那一天的具體日期。這句話可壓縮為："Please reply by telegram immediately if you will allow us to delay the shipment until April 21."(如同意我們把交貨延期到四月二十一日，請電復。)

　　有的作者為了使人們記住避免使用陳舊的商業(yè)術語，專門選擇了一些他認為陳舊的商業(yè)術語搞成一首詩： We beg to advise and wish to state That yours has arrived of recent date. We have it before us, its contents noted; Herewith enclosed are the prices we quoted. Attached please find, as per your request, The data you wanted; and not let us suggest Your order be sent, and not held unduly, We beg to remain, yours most truly.

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