很多雅思寫(xiě)作老師都說(shuō)雅思很容易!因?yàn)檠潘季驼Z(yǔ)言而言，是很容易的，單詞可以用最簡(jiǎn)單的，句子也可以不需要用多少?gòu)木洌@個(gè)和其他國(guó)際考試如SAT的要求相差很遠(yuǎn)。下面是小編為大家整理收集的關(guān)于雅思寫(xiě)作低分的相關(guān)解析，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助。。
1練習(xí)太少，沒(méi)有正規(guī)、足量寫(xiě)過(guò)雅思作文
2沒(méi)有找專(zhuān)業(yè)老師診斷過(guò)文章，不知道自己文章里面不符合寫(xiě)作評(píng)分的問(wèn)題
3閱讀量較少，遇到題目沒(méi)有觀(guān)點(diǎn)思路，或平時(shí)語(yǔ)言練習(xí)不足，即使有觀(guān)點(diǎn)思路，但不能很好表述自己的想法
4語(yǔ)法沒(méi)有正規(guī)補(bǔ)齊，寫(xiě)不出長(zhǎng)句或一寫(xiě)長(zhǎng)句就四不像，句子構(gòu)架或許對(duì)但句中邏輯混亂
5沒(méi)有積累過(guò)足夠的、不同寫(xiě)作話(huà)題項(xiàng)的專(zhuān)門(mén)詞匯，一寫(xiě)文章單詞使用就捉襟見(jiàn)肘
6最害人的是：投機(jī)心態(tài)下用國(guó)內(nèi)考試的準(zhǔn)備策略，企圖通過(guò)模板和套句蒙混過(guò)關(guān)
一般我在上課的時(shí)候，遇到文章有以上幾點(diǎn)問(wèn)題的同學(xué)，很快速的就能判斷他平時(shí)的練習(xí)狀態(tài)、寫(xiě)作的瓶頸和大體幾次考試的分?jǐn)?shù)區(qū)間!
給大家看最近寫(xiě)作精講課上我當(dāng)堂矯正的兩個(gè)5.5左右的文章，他們兩的問(wèn)題有相似的也有自己個(gè)性化的，你自己判斷你寫(xiě)文章有沒(méi)有這樣的問(wèn)題或上面我提到的失分點(diǎn)
題目
Some think that computer games are dangerous for children in every way; others think that computer games help children's development. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
(黑色是學(xué)生寫(xiě)的，紅色是當(dāng)時(shí)我的簡(jiǎn)要評(píng)語(yǔ)和提問(wèn);我講評(píng)文章最關(guān)注的是按照評(píng)分項(xiàng)改邏輯和任務(wù)回應(yīng))
Case A
Nowadays, as the computer becomes increasingly common in every family, computer games are prevailing，accordingly all over the world, especially among children.
開(kāi)頭段的重要功能之一是對(duì)文章題目的paraphrase，這里明顯缺失
In my opinion, although computer games have some harmful influences on children, the beneficial effects they bring go far beyond its detrimental influences.
Computer games can teach the young some experiences that cannot be learned from classes in schools.
For example, World of War craft is the world’s most famous online game which attracted an immense number of
children in various age levels by taking them to an virtual world and exhibiting the beauty of this world.
與上面的觀(guān)點(diǎn)和下面觀(guān)點(diǎn)的進(jìn)一步論證都沒(méi)有任何必要邏輯關(guān)系，屬于湊字?jǐn)?shù)的多余論證
By playing this computer game, children can learn the importance of cooperation and the necessary of every team member in their groups in their daily life.Thus this will help them to get along with their colleagues and reach success more easily in the future when they get jobs.
把這個(gè)結(jié)論和最開(kāi)始的觀(guān)點(diǎn)結(jié)合在一起就發(fā)現(xiàn)結(jié)論并沒(méi)有對(duì)觀(guān)點(diǎn)有論證和闡述!而按照雅思評(píng)分的要求，每個(gè)觀(guān)點(diǎn)和立場(chǎng)都需要適當(dāng)?shù)耐卣购驼撌鍪怯^(guān)點(diǎn)邏輯完整!
換而言之，觀(guān)點(diǎn)加結(jié)論，甚至只有結(jié)論的觀(guān)點(diǎn)是不能在雅思中拿到分?jǐn)?shù)的，這樣的寫(xiě)作多見(jiàn)于中國(guó)的英語(yǔ)考試(如四六級(jí))的試卷
However, playing computer games without any control can also be harmful to children. To be more specific, if children spend too much time on playing computer games can damage the eyesight of children which means they will have no choice but to wear a pair thick glasses to hide their myopic eyes.
Furthermore, playing too many computers will ruin children’s excellent studying habit and lead to not to study as hard as they can which will impede them from embracing an illuminating future.
與上面的問(wèn)題一樣，觀(guān)點(diǎn)只是觀(guān)點(diǎn)或結(jié)論，沒(méi)有相應(yīng)清晰的拓展和論述說(shuō)明
另外第一個(gè)反方觀(guān)點(diǎn)的論述口語(yǔ)化現(xiàn)象嚴(yán)重
In a word, I think children will be benefited from the computer games if they can play them under control.
結(jié)尾單薄，潦草
Case B
With the rapid explosion of the computer and the internet these year globally, as one of the attractive and popular functions of PC, computer games gain increasing popularity and many children can not resist the temptation of it, which makes parents upset. Consequently the heated discussion is raised to argue whether the video games have positive or negative influence on children.
你的立場(chǎng)呢?作為第一段的功能，闡述清楚自己的立場(chǎng)(position)來(lái)表示出文章打算寫(xiě)兩邊討論還是一邊支持很重要!
First of all, we must know that saying the game is bad in every aspect definitely makes no sense. Video games nowadays require a high intense of brain activities and a very powerful teamwork.
這里描述得是現(xiàn)象或者叫論證條件，那么對(duì)于青少年的好處是什么呢?沒(méi)有寫(xiě)完整觀(guān)點(diǎn)的結(jié)論從而能使觀(guān)點(diǎn)與題目切合
Besides, lets take the Korea as an example that the new career called Gaming has been pushing the Korean GDP by 2-3%. It provides thousands of jobs to the public as professional gamers, gaming clubs, game journalists and commenters. The championship of gaming provides a bonus up to a million dollars to the attending clubs. As the result, Korea becomes the biggest gaming country in the world.
此段和題目沒(méi)有一毛錢(qián)關(guān)系!本文不是論證電腦游戲的好處，而是電腦游戲能給青少年的成長(zhǎng)帶來(lái)什么好的影響!任務(wù)回應(yīng)不成立!
However, games harming children is unarguably the truth to certain extent. As a product that just rise, it still has a long road forward, such as the teenagers limits.
略顯空洞的句子，并看不出論證的實(shí)際功能和含義!青少年限制是什么意思?而且和下面的段落缺少銜接過(guò)渡，外部邏輯會(huì)失分
It is not a news that lots of students drop their study for games, becoming a professional gamer to win a million dollars sounds like a good plan for future, but just like the athletes or artists, only a very few amounts of player could finally succeed.
為什么輟學(xué)或放棄學(xué)業(yè)?直接壞處是什么?你的觀(guān)點(diǎn)推導(dǎo)的結(jié)論是什么?寫(xiě)雅思作文請(qǐng)不要繞彎子，直接寫(xiě)清楚!另外文章是討論電腦游戲?qū)η嗌倌甑暮μ帲銓?xiě)的是成功率低于是就有害了嗎?
正如我課上講解的，任務(wù)回應(yīng)和邏輯評(píng)分要求緊扣文章題目的問(wèn)題寫(xiě)!
Further more, although a proper exercise can enhance the eye sight, when you get addicted to the game, there is no good for both your physical and mental health.
這里不形成讓步，用although這樣的鏈接詞不太合適!另外，上癮后就會(huì)造成身理、心理傷害是為什么?該觀(guān)點(diǎn)只是結(jié)論，沒(méi)有任何適當(dāng)?shù)耐卣购驼撌�，不成�?
Overall, we should work out a moderate and neutral plan for the gaming occupation in order to direct more teenagers to a right and brighter way.
文章的任務(wù)回應(yīng)和邏輯有明顯欠缺!
句子的語(yǔ)法偏誤有不少，單詞使用倒是可以接受，但固定搭配的詞伙和教育類(lèi)專(zhuān)項(xiàng)常見(jiàn)詞使用較少!
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