英語搞笑故事

　　I can't let him get away

　　A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."

　　不能讓他跑了

　　一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇!她想，這只雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結(jié)婚了。

　　第二天，她又發(fā)現(xiàn)她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她問，“我們結(jié)婚前你可是直著走路的。”

　　“哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

　　Once God came up to me and granted me a wish.

　　I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.

　　Then I asked him to give me brains. He said, Let me try world peace.

　　有一次上帝來到我面前答應(yīng)了我一個(gè)愿望。

　　我說我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他說。

　　然后我請讓我變聰明。他說：“你還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧。”

　　圣誕節(jié)晚宴上的`餐前禱告

　　Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

　　He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"

　　有個(gè)小男孩叫Lee, 今年七歲，圣誕節(jié)晚餐開桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶著期待的申請低頭看著他，Lee開始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽，哥哥姐姐誒，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然后，他開始感謝上帝賜予他得圣誕節(jié)晚餐了。

　　他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，圣誕布丁和紅莓醬。然后Lee停下來了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很長時(shí)間，然后抬起頭看著他媽媽說：“媽媽，如果我感謝上帝賜予我甘藍(lán)菜，他會知道我在撒謊嗎?”

　　注：國外很多小孩子都不喜歡吃甘藍(lán)菜，看《絕望主婦》里面Lynette家的雙胞胎就非常討厭吃甘藍(lán)菜，請了保姆后還拿這個(gè)來做實(shí)驗(yàn)，看看她們家保姆有沒有魅力讓兩個(gè)小鬼頭把甘藍(lán)菜吃下去。

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