英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

　　篇一：

　　A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."

　　Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"

　　The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(無知的人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”

　　"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."

　　有個士兵沒有注意到一個年輕的陸軍中尉，沒有向他敬禮。中尉很嚴厲地對那個士兵說：“你沒有向我敬禮，因此你要馬上敬100個禮。”

　　這時候將軍過來了。他看到那個可憐的士兵就要開始敬禮時，就大聲問道：“這是怎么啦?”

　　中尉解釋說：“這個蠢貨沒有向我敬禮，我就罰他馬上向我敬一百個禮。”

　　將軍笑著說：“完全正確。不過，老弟，別忘了他向你每敬一個禮，你都要回禮的啊!”

　　篇二：

　　A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?” “I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered. “Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.” The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”

　　第一次世界大戰(zhàn)期間，一場大戰(zhàn)役正在進行。槍炮轟鳴，炮彈和子彈到處亂飛。這樣過了一個小時后，一個士兵認定戰(zhàn)斗對他來說變得太危險了，所以他離開前線開始逃離戰(zhàn)場。步行了一個小時之后，他看見一個軍官向他走過來。那軍官叫住他說：“你要到哪兒去?” “長官，我正盡可能遠地躲開我們身后正在進行的戰(zhàn)役，”士兵回答說。 “你知道我是誰嗎?”軍官生氣地對他說：“我是你的指揮官。” 那士兵聽到此話感到非常驚訝，說：“天哪，我想不到我已經(jīng)往回跑了這么遠了!”

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