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短篇英語(yǔ)笑話大全 笑破你的肚子
1、Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
杰克騎車(chē)摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填。仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護(hù)士問(wèn). "有!"杰克想了想說(shuō)，"我是個(gè)單身漢."
2、Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎?
媽媽：當(dāng)然可以----拿這塊蛋糕把它切成兩塊吧!
3、The first time a pig tastes bacon.
當(dāng)豬第一次嘗到培根。
Seriously! This is so good! Now I understand why they kill us ! It makes so much sense!
說(shuō)真的這太好吃了!現(xiàn)在我理解為什么他們要宰我們了，這樣才有意義。
4、Teacher: Would you rather have one half ofan orange or five tenths?
老師：你愿意要半個(gè)柑橘，還是十分之五個(gè)柑橘?
Gerald:I'd much rather have the half.
杰拉得：我寧可要半個(gè)。
Teacher:Think carefully, and tell me why.
老師：仔細(xì)想想，說(shuō)出理由來(lái)。
Gerald:Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
杰拉得：因?yàn)槟闳绻迅涕偾谐墒种�，那柑橘汁就損失太多了。
5、Son:Is ink so very expensive, father?
兒子：爸爸，墨水很貴嗎?
Father:Why, son, what makes you think so?
父親：不貴呀，你為什么這么想?
Son:W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I
spilled some on the carpet.
兒子：哦，我把墨水灑了一點(diǎn)在地毯上，媽媽好象挺著急的。
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
6、Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。
酒吧招待："你怎么了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?"
男人："我們吵了一架，她說(shuō)一個(gè)月都不跟我說(shuō)話。"
酒吧招待："那你應(yīng)該高興才是啊!"
男人："不，今天是這個(gè)月的最后一天。"
7、 "What are you so happy about?"
a womanasked the 98-year-old man.
“你高興什么?”一個(gè)女士問(wèn)一個(gè)98歲的老人。
"I broke a mirror," he replied.
“我打碎了一個(gè)鏡子。”他回答。
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
“但那預(yù)示著7年的壞運(yùn)氣。”
"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’tit wonderful?"
“我知道。”他高興地說(shuō)，“這難道不好嗎?”
8、My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her
pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister
encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師。一次一個(gè)學(xué)生告訴她說(shuō)一只鳥(niǎo)兒在教室外 的樹(shù)上壘了個(gè)窩。
“是什么鳥(niǎo)呢?”我姐姐問(wèn)她。
“我沒(méi)看到鳥(niǎo)兒，老師，只看到鳥(niǎo)窩。”那孩子回答說(shuō)。
“那么，你能給我們描述一下這個(gè)鳥(niǎo)巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵(lì)她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭發(fā)一樣。”
9、One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天，夏娃問(wèn)亞當(dāng)："你當(dāng)真愛(ài)我嗎?"
亞當(dāng)無(wú)可奈何地回答："我還有的選擇嗎?"
10、The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽車(chē)上很擁擠.一位男士想上車(chē),但是沒(méi)有人給他讓路.
"喂,讓我上車(chē)!"那位男士喊道.
"車(chē)太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車(chē)上的一位乘客對(duì)他說(shuō).
"但是沒(méi)有我你們走不了.我是司機(jī)!"那位男士說(shuō)道.
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