簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話（精選8篇）
笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。下面為大家?guī)砗?jiǎn)短英文笑話，快來看看吧。
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇1
In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees,
"The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key! If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible. Repeat it; cram it down people's throats. Even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't everforget to repeat, repeat, repeat. It's the only way to get results and sell our products!"
So, the employee said, "Yes, sir!"
Then the boss said, "Now, what was it you came to see me about?"
And the employee replied, "Well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!"
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇2
a man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"you will get your chance in court." said the desk sergeant.
"no, no, no." said the man. "i want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. i've been trying to do that for years."
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇3
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇4
Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...
有一個(gè)神經(jīng)病，不知道從哪里弄來了一把槍，他走在一條小黑胡同里。突然遇上一個(gè)年輕人，神經(jīng)病二話不說將其按在地上用槍指著他的頭。問道，一加一得幾。年輕人嚇壞了，沉思了很久。回答，等于二。神經(jīng)病毫不猶豫的打死了他。然后把搶拽在懷里，冰冷的說了一句，你知道的太多了…
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇5
Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
給女士讓座
小強(qiáng)尼說：“媽媽，今天早上和爸爸在公車上時(shí)，他叫我讓座給一位女士�！�
媽媽說：“你做得很對(duì)呀�！�
“但是，媽媽，我是坐在爸爸膝蓋上的。”
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇6
Driving through the hill country of Texas，just north of San Antonio，we watched the sky turn a brilliant orange at sunset. At my wife's pleading，we stopped and walked up a hill，which turned out to be the top of a cliff. Before us lay the picturesque postcard setting we had been looking for
during all our vacation. Below was a large green valley circled by hills. Exhilarated by the tangerine sky, long shadows，and a slight breeze carrying the scent of green grass，my wife suddenly shouted:“Thank you，Mother Nature，for so much beautyl”
開車經(jīng)過德克薩斯州的山丘地帶，也就是圣·安扎尼奧的正北。在黃昏時(shí)，我們看到天空中出現(xiàn)了一道道金色的光芒。在老婆喲請(qǐng)求下，我們停了車，來到了小山坡土。這里正好是懸崖的頂端，在我們面前展現(xiàn)出了一種名信片上的景色。這正是我們整個(gè)假期都在尋找的地方。山坡下是一片群山環(huán)抱的綠色山谷，橙色的天空，一片片綠草地。一陣微風(fēng)吹過來，送來了一陣草的芳香。我老婆突然喊到:“謝謝你，大自然的`毋親，感謝你給我們這么美麗的風(fēng)景。”
Then, a distant voice was heard from across the valley:"No charge!”
接著，從遠(yuǎn)處山谷的那一邊傳來了一聲，“不要付錢了。”
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇7
Although my mother，a native of Japan, has lived for 55 years in the United States，she has not adapted complete1y to the cultural change. This is especiallly obvious during her infrequent forays into a large city.
我母親是日本人，她已在美國(guó)生活了55年了，但是，她仍沒完全適應(yīng)這異國(guó)的文化。當(dāng)她偶爾去一次大城市，這種不適應(yīng)就顯得更明顯了。
One day she boarded a bus in Los Angeles，deposited a $5 bill in the coin box and held out her hand for change.Because the coin box is not built to accept paper money，the bus driver growled:“Okay，lady. If you get that bill out,you can ride for free. Otherwise we're going to have to dis-mantle this coin box."
一天，她在洛杉磯上了一輛會(huì)共汽車。她取出5元的紙幣把它塞進(jìn)了收幣機(jī)，然后，她仲出手等著找錢.由于收幣機(jī)不能接收紙幣，所以司機(jī)大聲地吼道:“好了，太大，如果
你能把那紙幣取出來，你今天乘車就免費(fèi)。否則，我們只好拆機(jī)器了。”
My mother hesitated but a moment, then opened her purse，took out a pair of chopsticks，retrieved the bill and smiled as she took her seat.
我母親猶豫了一會(huì)兒，然后打開她的手包，拿出了一副筷子，用它把錢夾了出來。她面帶著笑容找了個(gè)空座位坐下了。
簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話 篇8
Early one morning, my next-door neighbor set to work with a power hedge-trimmer. He was half through the job when a neighbor appeared，still in his pajamas. He was carrying his own power clipper and offered his help, which was gratefully accepted. When the job was done, my neighbor thanked his benefactor，commenting that it had been "a real neighborly act".
一天清晨，我隔壁的鄰居在用一個(gè)電動(dòng)剪修機(jī)修草坪。當(dāng)他干到一半兒的時(shí)侯，另一個(gè)鄰居也來了。他仍穿著睡衣，手里拿著他自家的電動(dòng)剪修機(jī)，說是來幫忙的。這個(gè)要求當(dāng)然不會(huì)被拒絕了�；罡赏陼r(shí)，我那位受益的都居對(duì)他表示了謝意，還評(píng)論說:“這才是真正的部居�！�
"Don't mention it，“replied the other man. "I figured,by helping you，it would only take half as long and I could get back to sleep!"
另一個(gè)鄰居卻說:“不用客氣。我算了一下，幫你一個(gè)忙，可以節(jié)省一半時(shí)間，然后我還能回去睡覺�！�
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