簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是一個(gè)漢語(yǔ)詞匯，意思是引人發(fā)笑的話或事情。笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡(jiǎn)單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來(lái)了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。以下是小編幫大家整理的簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有所幫助。
1、Who was the first man? 誰(shuí)是世界上第一個(gè)男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
一個(gè)老師問(wèn)她的學(xué)生：“誰(shuí)是世界上第一個(gè)男人”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
一個(gè)小男孩立刻大聲說(shuō)：“喬治.華盛頓�！�
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
老師帶著寵溺的笑容問(wèn)這個(gè)男生：“你如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第一個(gè)男人呢。”
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
這個(gè)男孩子說(shuō)：“因?yàn)椋堑谝粋�(gè)挑起戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，第一個(gè)主張和平，并且是第一個(gè)深得民心的'人�！�
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
這時(shí)，有一個(gè)年齡稍大的男孩子舉起手來(lái)，老師問(wèn)他，“你認(rèn)為誰(shuí)是世界第一個(gè)男人?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
男孩回答說(shuō)：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是喬治華盛頓，因?yàn)闅v史書上說(shuō)，喬治華盛頓和一個(gè)寡婦結(jié)婚了，所以在他之前，當(dāng)然還有一個(gè)男的啦�！�
2、Always Thirsty 總感到口渴
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友說(shuō)：“我動(dòng)了一次手術(shù)，手術(shù)后醫(yī)生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體里了�！�
"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友說(shuō)道：“你覺得疼嗎?”
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
“不疼，可是我總感到口渴�！�
3、 if I Am a Manager
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理
一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理”為題寫一篇作文。
所有的學(xué)生都在動(dòng)筆寫了，只有一個(gè)男生例外。老師走過(guò)去問(wèn)他為什么不寫。
“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。
4、Quick Cleanup 快速清掃
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個(gè)完美的家庭主婦，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務(wù)是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會(huì)兒之后，當(dāng)她去檢查的時(shí)候，她吃驚了，曾經(jīng)一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你沒往浴缸里看。”
5、 young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
一個(gè)年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了一個(gè)漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個(gè)人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個(gè)大數(shù)字，好像在談一筆大買賣。
到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問(wèn)來(lái)訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個(gè)人回答，“我是來(lái)給你安裝電話的�！�
6、Two Birds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
Teacher: Please tell us.
老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
7、三只烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來(lái)。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只烏龜對(duì)最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“你回家去取傘吧。”
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去�！�
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應(yīng)說(shuō)。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
兩年后，大烏龜對(duì)中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去�！�
8、又要結(jié)婚了
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“這么說(shuō)，你又要請(qǐng)一天假，”老師怒氣沖沖地對(duì)他的學(xué)生湯姆說(shuō)，“我倒想知道你這次找什么借口。你已經(jīng)請(qǐng)了四次假說(shuō)去參加你爺爺?shù)脑岫Y。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
湯姆回答說(shuō):“今天是我奶奶再次舉行婚禮�！�
9、Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)
三個(gè)互相爭(zhēng)生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價(jià)!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價(jià)!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個(gè)大招牌，上面只簡(jiǎn)單地寫著：“入口處”。
10、Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received onefromanother officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營(yíng)中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個(gè)大軍營(yíng)中工作，當(dāng)然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會(huì)上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對(duì)她說(shuō)，“我明天就要出國(guó)，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會(huì)很高興�！杯偼饬耍谑撬麄儙讉�(gè)月里一直通著信。
后來(lái)，他再?zèng)]有來(lái)信。她收到了另一個(gè)軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個(gè)部隊(duì)醫(yī)院里。
瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對(duì)護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“我來(lái)看望軍官漢弗雷斯�！�
“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)。
“噢，是的，”瓊說(shuō)，“我是他的妹妹�！�
“很高興認(rèn)識(shí)你，”護(hù)士長(zhǎng)說(shuō)，“我是他的母親�！�
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