中學(xué)英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯

　　The Name of a Poet

　　Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.

　　“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”

　　“I see what you mean，”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”

　　poet

　　bobby

　　詩(shī)人的名字

　　我們的老師正在給我們介紹現(xiàn)在某些學(xué)校使用的一種新的記憶訓(xùn)練系統(tǒng)。

　　“這個(gè)系統(tǒng)是這樣的，”她說(shuō)。“假定你要記住一個(gè)詩(shī)人的名字一一例如，要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告訴我們把他當(dāng)作博比·彭斯。“讓你的腦海里閃現(xiàn)出一個(gè)倫敦警察的形象，燃燒著的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒!”

　　“我明白你的意思，”班上的萬(wàn)事通說(shuō)。“但是你怎么能說(shuō)那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?”

　　n.詩(shī)人

　　n.[C][英][口]警察

　　A Lesson In Reading

　　I had a schoolmate who had come into school at an age later than usual，and could hardly read. There was a book used by the learners in reading called“Dialogues between a Missionary and an Indian”，It was a poor performance，full of inconclusive arguments and other commonplaces.The boy in question used to appear with this book in his hand in the middle of the school，the master standing behind him.

　　The lesson was to begin.The poor fellow，whose great fault lay in a deep toned drawl of his syllable and the omission of his stops，stood half looking at the book，and half casting his eye towarcJs the right of him，whence the blows were to proceed. The master looked over him，and his hand was ready.I am not exact in my quotation at this distance of time;but the spirit of one of the passages that I recollect was to the following purport，and thus did the teacher and his pupil proceed:

　　Master: Now，young man，have a care;or I’II set you a swinging task. (A common phrase of his.)

　　Pupil faking a sort of heavy bolt at his calamity，and never remembering his stop at the word“Missionary"): Missionary Can you see the wind?(Master gives him a slap on the cheek.)

　　Pupil (raising his voice to a cry, and still forgetting his stop):Indian No!

　　Master: Zounds，young man ! have a care，how you provoke me

　　Pupil (always forgetting the stop): Missionary How then do you know that there is such a thing? (Here a terrible thump.)

　　Pupil(with a shout of agony):Indian Because I feel it.

　　一節(jié)誦讀課

　　當(dāng)年我有個(gè)同學(xué)，入學(xué)比常規(guī)的年齡要遲，而且?guī)缀跬耆�不�?huì)讀書。那時(shí)有個(gè)學(xué)生用的閱讀課本，叫做《傳教士和印第安人的對(duì)話》。課本不怎么樣，盡是不得要領(lǐng)的論說(shuō)和一些老生常談。那孩子常常手拿該課本出現(xiàn)在學(xué)校中央，身后站著教師。

　　授課即將開始。那可憐的學(xué)生的毛病在于他讀音節(jié)時(shí)語(yǔ)調(diào)深沉地拖長(zhǎng)腔并略去應(yīng)有的'停頓。他站立著，三心二意地看著書，一面向身子右邊瞄去，因?yàn)榇驌魧��?huì)來(lái)自那個(gè)方向。教師盯視著他，手已擺出了打人的架勢(shì)。因?yàn)闀r(shí)隔已久，我的引述可能不很確切，但就我所憶，先生和學(xué)生的一次對(duì)話的要旨大致如下:

　　老師:“年輕人，小心點(diǎn);要不我可要讓你狠狠吃點(diǎn)苦頭。”(這是他的口頭禪。)

　　學(xué)生:(大難臨頭，身體猛然一搖閃，根本記不得在“傳教士”一詞后應(yīng)該停頓。)“傳教士你能看見(jiàn)風(fēng)嗎?”(教師扇了他一耳光。)

　　學(xué)生:(提高了嗓音，幾乎是在哭喊，但仍不記得要停頓)“印第安人不能啊!”

　　教師:“該死!年輕人，小心點(diǎn)別惹我發(fā)火!”

　　學(xué)生:(一如既往漏掉停頓)“傳教士那你怎么知道有這樣一種東西呢?”(這時(shí)來(lái)了重重一擊。)

　　學(xué)生:(痛苦地叫喊)“印第安人因?yàn)槲腋杏X(jué)到了。”

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