英語(yǔ)笑話大全集

　　它會(huì)傷害到你 it would hurt you

　　"Why is it that three of our four children have black hair but little Jim is a blond? Whose child is Jim?"

　　"I can't tell you the truth," said his wife after a long pause. "it would hurt you too much."

　　"Oh, don't be ridiculous," he insisted. "I don't mind who the father is. I'm just curious."

　　The wife ffinally confessed. "Well, if you really want to know, Jim is your child."

　　"為什么我們四個(gè)孩子中，三個(gè)是黑頭發(fā)，而小吉姆卻是金色頭發(fā)?吉姆是誰(shuí)的孩子?"

　　“我不能告訴你，”他妻子停了許久才說(shuō)，“那會(huì)傷害你太深。”

　　“ 哦，別無(wú)聊了，”他堅(jiān)持著，“我不在乎他的父親是誰(shuí),只是好奇而已。”

　　妻子最后承認(rèn)了。“好吧，如果你真想知道的話，吉姆是你的孩子。”.

　　因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune

　　A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

　　At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

　　The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

　　有一個(gè)人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業(yè)好幾個(gè)月了。

　　最后他在一個(gè)瓷器店找到了一個(gè)工作。可是才干了幾天，他就打爛了一個(gè)很大的花瓶。

　　經(jīng)理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個(gè)星期都要扣他的工錢(qián)，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問(wèn)：“那個(gè)花瓶值多少錢(qián)?”經(jīng)理說(shuō)：“值500美元。”他很高興地說(shuō)：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終于有個(gè)穩(wěn)定的工作啦。”

　　Dating for Mother 約會(huì)

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　在湯姆工作的大樓里有一個(gè)咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因?yàn)檫@位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對(duì)湯姆招手并示意湯姆過(guò)去。于是湯姆走了過(guò)去。她問(wèn)道，“您現(xiàn)在是單身嗎?” “對(duì)，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說(shuō)。 “我母親也是，”她說(shuō)，“您愿不愿意見(jiàn)見(jiàn)她?”

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