英語幽默笑話精選全集

　　1、One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"

　　在開普吉拉多市的東南密蘇里州立大學(xué)上學(xué)的時候，我喜歡的幾個老師之中有一個以他的幽默感而出名。給新生上頭一節(jié)課，他給學(xué)生解釋在他課上的紀(jì)律，他說：“我知道我的課經(jīng)常會很枯燥乏味，所以我并不介意你們在課上看表。然而，我堅決不允許你們把表重重的摔在課桌上，以此來檢查你的表是不是還在走。”

　　2、A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'

　　有個人開車行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車闖紅燈從側(cè)面撞上了他的車，當(dāng)時他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他從車?yán)锢�出來并喚醒他。剛一醒過來，他就拼命的掙扎著，最后不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮(zhèn)靜下來。過了一會兒，他平靜了，別人問他為什么要這么恐怖的掙扎，他說：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，當(dāng)我醒過來，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我躺在了路邊，前面是一個巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個人擋住了那個“S”。”

　　3、A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

　　有個小男孩非常需要50美元，他為此禱告了數(shù)周但是什么也沒發(fā)生。后來，他決定寫封信向上帝索要這50美元。郵局接到這封信，想了想覺得還是應(yīng)該交給總統(tǒng)比較好。總統(tǒng)被逗笑了，于是指示秘書寄給小男孩5美元，因為他覺得5美元對于一個小孩來講已經(jīng)是不少了。小男孩收到了錢很高興，給上帝回了一封感謝信，信里寫道：尊敬的上帝，非常感謝你把錢寄給我。然而，我發(fā)現(xiàn)這些錢是通過白宮寄出的，因此，和往常一樣，那幫家伙收了我45美元的稅。

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