精選3則短篇英語(yǔ)笑話

　　Goldfish 金魚(yú)

　　Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

　　斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚(yú)。

　　Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

　　弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們?

　　Stan: In the bathroom.

　　斯丹：浴室。

　　Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

　　弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時(shí)怎么辦?

　　Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!

　　斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!

　　I am acting like a lady 我要表現(xiàn)得像一位女士

　　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價(jià)，一位高貴的中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒(méi)過(guò)多久，他就發(fā)現(xiàn)自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

　　他竭力地忍耐著。后來(lái)，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過(guò)人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　“你干嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現(xiàn)得像一位紳士嗎?”

　　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　“聽(tīng)著，”他說(shuō)。“我已經(jīng)像紳士一樣表現(xiàn)了一個(gè)小時(shí)了。從現(xiàn)在起，我要表現(xiàn)得像一位女士。”

　　Good Sight 好視力

　　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

　　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

　　律師：你說(shuō)你離事故現(xiàn)場(chǎng)約有35英尺，你能看清多遠(yuǎn)的東西?

　　證人：這么說(shuō)吧，早上起床后我看見(jiàn)太陽(yáng)，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬(wàn)英里遠(yuǎn)。

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