小孩子最愛的英語笑話

　　Dream 夢(mèng)想

　　The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.

　　"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.

　　"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.

　　"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.

　　農(nóng)校的招生辦主任在面試一個(gè)上線的學(xué)生，“你為何要選擇這個(gè)職業(yè)?”他問。 “我夢(mèng)想以經(jīng)營農(nóng)場來賺一百萬元，就像我父親一樣。”這個(gè)學(xué)生回答說。 “你父親經(jīng)營農(nóng)場賺了一百萬元?”主任驚詫地問道。

　　“沒有，”這位申請(qǐng)人回答道，“他總是夢(mèng)想著賺到這個(gè)數(shù)目。”

　　Wedding or Not

　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

　　弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過很多女孩，但“從不過熱----見好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。

　　他回來即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”

　　A Boy with a Big Head大頭娃娃

　　A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

　　"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

　　"Where is the shopping bag?"

　　"I haven't got one-use your hat."

　　一個(gè)小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說我腦袋大。” “別聽他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的'腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買十斤土豆來。”

　　“購物袋在哪兒?”

　　“沒購物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

　　吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)

　　The Mean Mans Party

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　吝嗇鬼的聚會(huì)

　　一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來吧?”

　　Older Goats in America美國老羊

　　A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.

　　She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"

　　A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

　　一群美國人乘長途汽車在荷蘭旅游。他們?cè)谝粋�(gè)奶酪場停下來。一位年輕的導(dǎo)游帶他們參觀了奶酪制作的全過程，解釋說用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個(gè)美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對(duì)這些，她解釋說，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產(chǎn)奶。她然后問道：“在美國你們?cè)鯓犹幚砝涎蚰?”

　　一位活潑的老紳士回答說：“他們讓我們乘車旅行!”

　　問問你自己的吧

　　Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply.They sallied forth. “What time is it，Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply.

　　這是華盛頓的一個(gè)陰冷天。錢普·克拉克正和一個(gè)來訪的英國人討論城市的流浪兒，英國人詳細(xì)地?cái)⑹鲋鴤惗厥教觳诺臋C(jī)智�？死�克宣稱，要是對(duì)方向華盛頓街上任何一個(gè)兒童提任何問題，那孩子都會(huì)對(duì)答如流。他們便出發(fā)了。 “什么時(shí)候了，小兄弟?人們說你能用鼻子報(bào)時(shí)。” 回答是：“先生，問問你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”

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