精選經(jīng)典爆笑英語笑話
電腦問題
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印機部做技術支持工作已經(jīng)有一個月了,有一天我接到一位客戶的電話,她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是:打印機不能打出來黃色,但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶,因為三原色就是藍、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅(qū)動程序然后重新安裝,但是都沒有效果。我咨詢同事們,他們也不知道該怎么辦。經(jīng)過兩個多小時的交涉,我打算讓客戶把打印機寄給我們,這時候她平靜地說了一句:“我是不是應該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙再打印試試。”
誰欠誰錢
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律師的狗,沒有拴而到處閑逛,它來到一家肉店,偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來到律師的辦公室,問道“如果一條沒栓的狗從我的商店里偷了塊肉,我有權利從狗的主人那里要回損失嗎?律師答道:“完全可以”,“那你欠我 8.50美元,你的狗沒栓而且今天從我的店里頭了塊肉”,律師什么都沒說,馬上給他寫了一張支票。一些天后,店主打開郵箱,發(fā)現(xiàn)一封來自律師的信,信上寫 道:咨詢費250美元。
打氣筒里面的氣
The neighbor often borrowed my inflator.
One day, my four-year-old daughter suddenly told me: "Papa, what shall we do if the air of our inflator is used up?"
鄰居經(jīng)常借我家的打氣筒。
有一天,4歲的女兒突然告訴我說:“爸爸,我們的打氣筒里面的氣用完了怎么辦?”
視情況而定
One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: "How long will this pair of shoes last?"
"It depends. If you don t use it, the shoes will never wear out."
Several days later the salesgirl fell ill and went to a hospital. And the happened to be the customer she served.
After the girl got the prescription from the doctor, she asked: "How soon will I get better with the medicine?"
"It depends." The doctor answered, "If you don t use it, you will never get better."
一天,一位醫(yī)生到鞋店買了雙鞋。他在離開柜臺之前,問售貨員:“這雙鞋能穿多長時間?”
“視情況而定。如果您不穿它,那它們永遠也不會壞。”
幾天后,這位售貨員病了,去醫(yī)院看病。這位醫(yī)生碰巧是那位顧客。
當售貨員拿了處方后,問道:“吃了這藥,我的病多長時間才能好呀?”
“視情況而定。”醫(yī)生說,“如果你不吃藥,你的病永遠也好不了。”
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