爆冷幽默英語(yǔ)笑話

　　我還以為那是我的手

　　Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet! Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket? Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine.

　　教授：天哪!有人偷了我的錢包! 妻子：你難道沒感覺到一只手伸進(jìn)你的口袋? 教授：感覺到了，可我還以為那是我的手呢?

　　他死了

　　If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died.

　　如果你不答應(yīng)嫁給我，他發(fā)誓，我就要去死。六十年后，他死了。

　　幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業(yè)

　　Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play? Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework.

　　基米：嘿，艾米，你不出來(lái)玩嗎?艾米：不了，我必須留在家里，幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業(yè)。

　　有其父必有其子

　　Once a boy's grandfather beat his grandson for playing with fire in the courtyard.

　　The boy's father saw this and he got worried about his son. So he took a stick and began beating himself. The grandfather was surprised and asked: "Why are you beating yourself?"

　　"You are beating my son and I'm beating your son." The boy's father answered.

　　一個(gè)小孩因?yàn)橥婊鸨粻敔敶蛄艘活D。

　　孩子的父親看到后很心疼自己的兒子。因此，他拿起一根棍子開始打自己。孩子的爺爺見到后很不理解，便問道：“你為什么打你自己呢?”

　　孩子的父親說：“因?yàn)槟愦蛄宋覂鹤�。所以我也要打你兒子�?rdquo;

　　神奇的高爾夫球

　　A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"

　　The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"

　　"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"

　　"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?

　　"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."

　　"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"

　　"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."

　　"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"

　　"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"

　　The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"

　　"I found it."

　　一個(gè)高爾夫球手正要發(fā)球，跑上來(lái)一個(gè)無(wú)限諂媚的小個(gè)子推銷員，喊到：“ 等一下。在您發(fā)球前，我請(qǐng)您看一樣超神奇的東西。”

　　高爾夫球手頗感被打攪，說道：“什么東西啊?”

　　“是一個(gè)很特別的高爾夫球 - 一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)被弄丟的球!”

　　“永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)丟的球”，高爾夫球手嘲諷地說，“如果球被打到水里呢?”

　　“沒問題。它能漂起來(lái)，還能探測(cè)到哪里是岸，然后自己就能轉(zhuǎn)到岸邊。”

　　“那么如果掉到樹叢里呢?”

　　“簡(jiǎn)單。它能發(fā)出嘟嘟聲，這樣你就能循聲而至了。”

　　“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”

　　“球會(huì)在黑暗中發(fā)光啊!一句話，你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)找不到這個(gè)球。”

　　高爾夫球手當(dāng)即買下這個(gè)球，隨口問了一句：“你從哪搞到它的?”

　　“是我撿到的啦!”

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