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中篇幽默英語笑話(通用6篇)
笑話具有篇幅短小,故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙,往往出人意料,給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象,具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。下面yjbys小編為您分享中篇幽默英語笑話,希望你喜歡。
中篇幽默英語笑話 篇1
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public.
So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班,對于顧客們的各種情緒早已習以為常了。
所以,有一天當一個生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來到我的.工作臺時,我還是非常平靜地問她,“有什么問題嗎?”“我早上上街了,”女顧客說,“我回到家的時候,我看到一個卡片,卡片說郵遞員要給我們家送包裹,但沒人在家?墒俏业恼煞蛘麄早上都在家啊。他說他什么都沒聽到”。在表示了歉意之后,我把包裹給了她!班,太好了”,那位女顧客喜形于色!拔覀兊冗@東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問!拔艺煞虻男轮犉鳌薄
中篇幽默英語笑話 篇2
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.
So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
湯姆早上老起不來,所以上班總是遲到。他的老板非常生氣,警告他如果他不能有所改善的話就炒他的'魷魚。
于是,湯姆去看醫(yī)生,醫(yī)生給了他一顆藥丸并告訴他要在睡覺前服下這顆藥。湯姆照醫(yī)生的話做了,睡得非常之好,事實上,他在早上鬧鐘響之前就起來了。湯姆從容不迫地吃完早餐,然后興高采烈地開車上班去了。 “老板”,湯姆說,“那藥真管用,我的睡眠好極了!” “是夠管用的,”老板說,“問題是,昨天你人哪去了”?
中篇幽默英語笑話 篇3
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the new doctors ... but after 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"
有個婦女去看病,為她診治的是一名年輕的醫(yī)生。檢查進行了大約四分鐘,她哭著跑了出去,在走廊里面一邊跑一邊大叫著。一位老醫(yī)生攔住了她,問她發(fā)生了什么事,婦女告訴了他事情的經(jīng)過。
聽她說完,老醫(yī)生讓她坐在另一間屋子里放松一下,他自己穿過走廊來到新醫(yī)生的辦公室:“你是怎么搞的?特里太太今年63歲,她的.四個孩子都成年了,還有7個孫子孫女,可是你居然對她說她懷孕了?”新醫(yī)生繼續(xù)做著他的紀錄,眼皮都沒抬一下:“她現(xiàn)在還打嗝嗎?”
中篇幽默英語笑話 篇4
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background.
She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
代課教師試圖運用她的心理學知識。
開始上課時,她說:“誰覺得自己很愚蠢,請站起來!毙〖s翰馬上站起來了。老師問:“為什么你覺得你很愚蠢呢,小約翰?”“我不覺得我很蠢,只是我不愿意你一個人站在那!”
中篇幽默英語笑話 篇5
An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter,the other on the pavement.
A pupil meeting him said: “Good evening,professor.How are you? “Well,” answered the professor,“I thought I was all right when I left home,but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”
有一天,人們看見一個有名的心不在焉的'老師在路上走,他的一只腳一直踏在街溝里,另一只腳踩在人行道上。
一個碰見他的學生說: “晚安,老師。您怎么了?” “啊,”這位老師回答說:“我想我離開家的時候還挺好的,可是現(xiàn)在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已經(jīng)一瘸一拐走了半個小時了。”
中篇幽默英語笑話 篇6
It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers,and they often had fights with each other.
Last Saturday their mother said to them,“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be good.” “Yes,Mummy,” the two boys answered,and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour,and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy,” he said,“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy,”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him,” Billy answered,“and he quickly moved down.”
比利和波比都是小男孩。他們是兄弟,兩人經(jīng)常打架。
上個星期六,他們的媽媽對他們說:“我現(xiàn)在要做午飯了。去,到花園去玩吧,別淘氣! “是,媽媽,”兩個男孩回答,然后他們就出去了。他們在花園里玩了半個小時,然后比利跑進了廚房!皨寢專彼f:“波比打碎了艾倫太太家的`窗玻璃。”艾倫太太是他們的鄰居。 “他是個壞孩子,”他的媽媽說。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的?” “我朝他扔了一塊石子,”比利回答:“他趕緊蹲下!
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