經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話五年級(jí)

　　帶翻譯的英語(yǔ)笑話讓我們理解更加容易，一起來(lái)看看吧。

　　一個(gè)真正的男子漢 One real man

　　One real man

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(嚴(yán)格地，嚴(yán)厲地).

　　Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(勸告，建議) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

　　It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(膽小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

　　Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

　　一個(gè)真正的男子漢

　　古代有一個(gè)國(guó)王，他想證明他領(lǐng)土內(nèi)的男人并非像人們傳說(shuō)的那樣，受到老婆的管制。他把王國(guó)里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告說(shuō)，哪個(gè)男人膽敢不說(shuō)實(shí)話，就會(huì)受到嚴(yán)厲的懲罰。

　　然后，他叫所有聽(tīng)從妻子的命令和意見(jiàn)的男人都走向大廳的左側(cè)。所有的男人都站到了左側(cè)，只有一個(gè)小個(gè)子男人站到了右側(cè)。

　　國(guó)王說(shuō)：看到我們國(guó)家里還有一個(gè)真正的男子漢，真是令人高興。告訴這些膽小的笨蛋，為什么在他們當(dāng)中只有你一個(gè)人站在大廳的右側(cè)。

　　陛下，那人尖聲地回答：因?yàn)樵谖页鲩T(mén)之前，我老婆告訴我不要扎堆。

　　The King and His Stories 國(guó)王和他的故事

　　Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not good. As people were afraid of him, they all said his stories were good.

　　One day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. He waited the writer to praise these stories. But the writer said his stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. The king got very angry with him and sent him to prison.

　　After some time, the king set him free. Again he showed him some of his new stories and asked what he thought of them.

　　After reading them, the writer at once turned to the soldiers and said: “ Take me back to prison, please.”

　　Family problems…

　　Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

　　The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven'teven met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a

　　woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'

　　The American said, Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.

　　I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.

　　Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

　　More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.

　　Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems..

　　Count to one Hundred Before You Speak

　　In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100."

　　No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count.

　　at last all the students shouted together,"1...98,99,100.teacher,your clothes are on fire."

　　數(shù)到一百再說(shuō)

　　課堂上，老師背靠火爐站著，對(duì)學(xué)生們說(shuō)：“說(shuō)話前要三思，起碼數(shù)到50，重要的'事情要數(shù)到一百。”

　　老師的話音剛落，學(xué)生立刻從“1”開(kāi)始數(shù)起來(lái)。最后一起喊：“98，99，100!老師，您的衣服著火了。”

　　The Advantage of Alcohol

　　In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"

　　The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."

　　酒的好處

　　為了證明酒精對(duì)生物的危害，老師把一只蟲(chóng)子放入裝有酒精的杯子里，蟲(chóng)子很快就死了。老師問(wèn)一個(gè)學(xué)生：“這說(shuō)明了什么?”

　　學(xué)生答道：“說(shuō)明人多喝酒，就不會(huì)長(zhǎng)蟲(chóng)子。”

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