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愚人節(jié)笑話英語
笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。以下是小編整理的愚人節(jié)笑話英語，僅供參考，大家一起來看看吧。
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 篇1
I Have His Ear in My Pocket愚人節(jié)笑話英語笑話版送給愛笑的你。
年少無知
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3歲了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天，他正在窗口觀望，夜幕降臨。他突然喊道：“媽媽，媽媽，快來關(guān)窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“為什么?天不冷呀，寶貝�！�
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的，媽媽，可黑夜會進(jìn)來。”
快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚后，我的一個(gè)朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。 他沒帶手機(jī)，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊(duì)警官作出了回應(yīng)，“報(bào)告你的位置”�！癐-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會之后，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時(shí)開得有多快?”
冰箱里的小兔子
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打開冰箱門，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問它：“你在那里做什么?”
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對不對?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)
The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士確認(rèn)道：“沒錯(cuò)�！�
"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
兔子說：“那就對了，我就是要往西邊去�！�
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
兔子：你確信這瓶特制胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
醫(yī)生：當(dāng)然咯，凡是喝過的兔子沒有一只來要第二瓶的。
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
兔寶寶：媽咪，我是從哪兒來的呢?
Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
兔媽媽：等你長大點(diǎn)再告訴你。
Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
兔寶寶：噢媽咪，現(xiàn)在就告訴我吧，求您了。
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
兔媽媽：如果你一定要知道，那我告訴你你是從魔術(shù)師的帽子里被拽出來的'。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎?”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
錢不用找了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時(shí)，我與一名準(zhǔn)備買東西的顧客發(fā)生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價(jià)過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
我指出這本書保存狀況頗好，納什是個(gè)有趣的詩人，這個(gè)要價(jià)是合理的。他說這是個(gè)原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價(jià)格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳�！傲沐X不用找了�！彼f。
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 篇2
1、-What the day is it today?
-Today is April fools'day.
-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.
-Oh!it is really April fools'day.
-Haha!you were cheated!
-今天是星期幾？
-今天是四月愚人節(jié)。
-哦！你錯(cuò)了，今天是三月三十一日。如果你不相信我，請拿起日歷。
-哦！這真的是四月愚人節(jié)。
-哈哈！你被騙了！
2、Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
最好的祝愿，我相信你的英語會越來越好！
3、A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
一個(gè)雙目失明的小男孩正被媽媽抱上床。媽媽說：“現(xiàn)在，比利，今晚和明天都要好好祈禱，你的愿望會實(shí)現(xiàn)的！”比利說：“好的，媽媽，”然后去睡覺。第二天早上，比利醒來尖叫著：“媽咪！”！我還是瞎了眼，我的愿望沒有實(shí)現(xiàn)！媽媽回答說：“我知道——四月傻瓜！”
4、Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.
妻子對丈夫（整天看報(bào)紙）說：我希望我是一份報(bào)紙，所以我整天都在你手里。
丈夫：我也希望如此，這樣我就可以每天換你了。
5、A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
一個(gè)小男孩問他的父親：爸爸，結(jié)婚要花多少錢？父親回答說：我不知道兒子。我還在付錢！
6、At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life！
Father said: Wait！I am coming with you.
半夜，父親看到他已婚的兒子離家出走了…他問他：你在干什么？
兒子回答：爸爸，我受夠了我的生活！我的新婚生活不太順利，我妻子和我媽媽一直在打架！我得為我的親家付賬，我討厭這種生活！我想遠(yuǎn)離這里，我想品味生活中的每一種樂趣，我想享受生活的樂趣！
父親說：等等！我和你一起去。
7、A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl！
一個(gè)女人去英國參加一個(gè)為期兩周的`公司培訓(xùn)會議。她丈夫開車送她去機(jī)場，祝她旅途愉快。
妻子回答：謝謝你，親愛的，你要我給你拿什么？
丈夫笑著說：一個(gè)英國女孩！�。�
那女人默不作聲地離開了。兩個(gè)星期后，他在機(jī)場接她，問道：親愛的，旅途怎么樣？
妻子：很好，謝謝。
丈夫：我的禮物怎么了？
妻子：哪一件禮物？
丈夫：我要的是那個(gè)英國女孩？
妻子：哦，那！好吧，我盡力了，現(xiàn)在我們得等幾個(gè)月看看是不是女孩！
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 篇3
1、Why are people tired on April Fool's Day?
(愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌＞耄?
答：Because they have just had a long March.
( 因?yàn)樗麄儎傔^了長長的三月。March 三月、行軍)
2、What weather do mice and rats fear?
(老鼠害怕什么天氣？)
答：When it's raining cats and dogs.
(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3、When do dogs refuse to follow their masters?
(狗什么時(shí)候不愿跟隨主人？)
答：When their masters go to the flea market.
(主人去跳蚤市場時(shí)。Flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 )
4、What question can never be answered by “yes”?
(哪個(gè)問題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的”？)
答：Are you asleep?
(你睡著了嗎？)
5、What tree is always very sad?
(哪種樹總是很傷心？)
答：Weeping willow.
( 垂柳。weep哭泣 willow柳樹)
6、When can you get water with a net?
(什么時(shí)候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水？)
答：When water is turned into ice.
(當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時(shí)。)
7、Why is the pig always eating?
�。ㄘi為什么沒完沒了地吃？）
答：He's making a hog of himself.
（它想成為一只肉豬。）
8、What's the longest word in the world?
�。ㄊ澜缟献铋L的.單詞是什么？）
答：Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.
�。ㄎ⑿�。因?yàn)閮蓚�(gè)字母S中間隔了一里。）
9、What question is that to which you must always answer "yes"?
�。ㄊ裁磫栴}你只能回答“yes”？）
答："What does y-e-s spell?"
�。� (當(dāng)別人問你)“yes”怎么拼？）
10、Where were you when the power was cut off?
�。ó�(dāng)停電的時(shí)候你在哪？）
答：In the darkness.
（在黑暗中。）
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 篇4
1. why are people tired on april fool's day? (愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌＞?)
答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因?yàn)樗麄儎傔^了長長的三月。march 三月;行軍)
2.what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天氣?)
答：when it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3.when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么時(shí)候不愿跟隨主人?)
答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市場時(shí)。flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 )
4.what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪個(gè)問題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的`”?)
答：are you asleep? (你睡著了嗎)
5.what tree is always very sad? (那種樹總是很傷心?)
答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹)
6.when can you get water with a net? (什么時(shí)候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時(shí))
7.why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒完沒了地吃?
答：he's making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。
8.what's the longest word in the world?世界上最長的單詞是什么? 答：smiles. because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因?yàn)閮蓚�(gè)字母s中間隔了一里。
9.what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么問題你只能回答“yes”?
答："what does y-e-s spell?" (當(dāng)別人問你)“yes”怎么拼?
10.where were you when the power was cut off? 當(dāng)停電的時(shí)候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中
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