做一些古今英語笑話

　　下面yjbys小編為您分享英語笑話，希望你喜歡。

　　我丈夫剛進(jìn)來

　　The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.

　　在飯館里坐著一對夫婦，他們看上去非常高興。但是當(dāng)那女子向旁邊瞥了一眼時，服務(wù)員馬上跑了過來。

　　“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”

　　“夫人，您瞧,” 他說,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”

　　“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”

　　“不，他沒有,” 她回答,“我丈夫剛從門外進(jìn)來。”

　　有兩條褲子

　　A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

　　丈夫下班回到家里，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的新娘心緒煩亂。“我心里太難受了，”她說。“我在給你熨西裝時把褲子的臀部燒了個大洞。”

　　“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

　　“沒事兒，”丈夫安慰她說。“你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。”

　　“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”

　　“是的，”妻子高興地說，“幸虧你還有一條，我后來就用它來補(bǔ)了這個洞了。”

　　死于肝癌的人100%都吃飯

　　Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of

　　those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.

　　妻子：你瞧，根據(jù)這報上登的統(tǒng)計數(shù)字，那些死于肝癌的人有80%都喝酒。

　　Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat

　　meals.

　　丈夫：那就不錯了。據(jù)我調(diào)查，所有這些人都吃飯呢。

　　我是單身漢

　　Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt.A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.

　　杰克騎車摔傷，去醫(yī)院治療。一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填。 杰克填好后遞上表格。

　　"Anything else?"The nurse asked. "Yes," Jack thinks for a while and said "l'm a bachelor."

　　“還有什么漏填的?”護(hù)士問。“有!”杰克想了想說，“我是個單身漢。”

　　狗住旅店

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　有個人給一家他計劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的`狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

　　旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因為狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來。

　　奇猜異想

　　Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.

　　One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"

　　我們的物理教授千方百計引導(dǎo)我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進(jìn)入池子，發(fā)現(xiàn)水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對這一發(fā)現(xiàn)十分激動，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什么意思。

　　一個學(xué)生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”

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