古今英語笑話五年級(jí)

　　一些英語典故可是很多老美都耳熟 ，下次換你去取笑老美的時(shí)候，就可以用到Y(jié)JBYS小編為您整理的英語小笑話了。

　　Mushroom and Toadstool 蘑菇與毒蕈

　　Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool(毒菌) ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

　　年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區(qū)別開呢?年長(zhǎng)的童子軍：上床前吃一個(gè)。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。

　　救出哪幅畫?

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　一份報(bào)紙組織了一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，為下面的問題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”

　　獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”

　　A Thank-you Note

　　Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

　　有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個(gè)我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒中獎(jiǎng)。”

　　Excellent Skills

　　After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

　　In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.

　　我的朋友們?cè)诜泵Φ募~瓦克機(jī)場(chǎng)著陸后，他們卻不能招呼到腳夫來幫他們搬行李。無奈，丈夫拿出一張五美元的`鈔票在人群上面搖晃。

　　一個(gè)帶寬邊帽的人馬上來到他身邊。“先生，”腳夫說道，“很明顯你有絕妙的交際技巧。”

　　可憐的人

　　"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady， "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind."

　　"You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."

　　"啊，可憐的人，"善良的老婦人驚嘆道。"腳瘸就夠慘的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。"

　　"你說的一點(diǎn)兒沒錯(cuò)，"那乞丐說。他顯然是乞討老手。"我眼瞎的時(shí)候，人們老是給我外幣。"

　　終身保修

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

　　在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后，當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶終于攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。

　　CD唱機(jī)

　　While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.

　　在購買我的第一部CD唱機(jī)時(shí)，我能夠解讀推銷標(biāo)記上面的大多數(shù)技術(shù)語言。但是有一個(gè)標(biāo)示卻讓我頗為迷惑，于是我叫過銷售商，問道：‘混合脈沖D/A變換器’是什么意思?它的意思是，她說，這個(gè)機(jī)器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數(shù)字信息，將它轉(zhuǎn)換成聲音信息-也就是說，轉(zhuǎn)換成音樂。換句話說，這個(gè)CD唱機(jī)能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。

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