經(jīng)典的英文笑話

　　引導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：學(xué)好英文，都看英文笑話也是一個(gè)好方法，下面小編為你帶來(lái)了幾遍經(jīng)典的英文笑話。

　　(一)

　　Who's More Polite?

　　A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

　　誰(shuí)更有禮貌?

　　一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭(zhēng)論誰(shuí)更有禮貌.瘦子說(shuō)他更有禮貌,因?yàn)樗��?jīng)常對(duì)女士摘帽示意.但是胖子認(rèn)為他更有風(fēng)度,因?yàn)闊o(wú)論什么時(shí)候他在車(chē)上給別人讓座時(shí),總有兩位女士能坐下.

　　(二)

　　Expensive Price

　　Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　昂貴的代價(jià)

　　牙科醫(yī)生：對(duì)不起,夫人,為給您的兒子拔牙,我得收二十五美元.

　　母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科醫(yī)生：是的.但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚,他都嚇跑四位病人了

　　(三)

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車(chē)撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō):"我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說(shuō):"我怕他已經(jīng)死了."聽(tīng)到醫(yī)生的話,這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說(shuō):"我沒(méi)死,我還活著."妻子說(shuō):"安靜,醫(yī)生比你懂得多."

　　(四)

　　The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

　　"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

　　"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

　　"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

　　公共汽車(chē)上很擁擠.一位男士想上車(chē),但是沒(méi)有人給他讓路.

　　"喂,讓我上車(chē)!"那位男士喊道.

　　"車(chē)太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車(chē)上的一位乘客對(duì)他說(shuō).

　　"但是沒(méi)有我你們走不了.我是司機(jī)!"那位男士說(shuō)道.

　　(五)

　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

　　"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　一天,父親與小兒子一道回家.這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問(wèn)題.他向父親發(fā)問(wèn)道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父親回答說(shuō),“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察.如果我把他們看成了四個(gè),那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子說(shuō),“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀!”

　　(六)

　　The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

　　由于客人在吃蘋(píng)果餡餅時(shí),家里沒(méi)有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.這家的'小男孩悄悄地離開(kāi)了屋子.過(guò)了一會(huì)兒,他拿著一片奶酪回到房間,把奶酪放在客人的盤(pán)子里. 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說(shuō)：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夾上,先生.”那小男孩說(shuō).

　　(七)

　　One day an old lady went to see her doctor, the doctor ask "how old are you?" The old lady think for a while and she said" when i was marry i was 18 and my husband is thirty Five. Now my husband is seventy years old it is twice of thirty five, so i am 36 years old."... 一天一位老太太去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生問(wèn)：“女士，您多大歲數(shù)了?”然后老太太想了一會(huì)說(shuō)：“我結(jié)婚那年我18歲，我老公35歲,現(xiàn)在他70歲了，是35的兩倍，所以我應(yīng)該是36歲”。。。。。。。。。。 TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 湯姆的借口 老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到? 湯姆：我每次路過(guò)拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫(xiě)著："學(xué)校----慢行。" Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today. Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night. 醫(yī)生：聽(tīng)上去你咳嗽今天好多了。 病人：應(yīng)該如此。我昨晚練習(xí)了一整夜。

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