英語(yǔ)笑話大全精選笑破你的肚子簡(jiǎn)短
一天，斯威夫特博士正忙著寫(xiě)東西，小廝沖進(jìn)了他的房間，把書(shū)一扒拉，將一個(gè)包裹扔在書(shū)桌上，說(shuō)道：我的女主人送給你兩只兔子。更多英語(yǔ)笑話盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生笑話網(wǎng)。
小廝的小費(fèi)原來(lái)是這樣得來(lái)的-英漢雙語(yǔ)笑話
A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.
在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老婦人，她時(shí)常打發(fā)仆人給他送禮物。斯威夫特博士接受她的禮物，但從不給小廝任何酬謝。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙著寫(xiě)東西，小廝沖進(jìn)了他的房間，把書(shū)一扒拉，將一個(gè)包裹扔在書(shū)桌上，說(shuō)道：我的女主人送給你兩只兔子。
Swift turned round and said, My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel(包裹) . Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.
斯威夫特轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái)說(shuō)：孩子，包裹可不是這樣送法呀。現(xiàn)在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要記取這個(gè)教訓(xùn)。
The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, Come in. The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.
小廝坐了下來(lái)，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲門(mén)，等待回音。小廝說(shuō)進(jìn)來(lái)。博士進(jìn)了門(mén)，走到桌旁說(shuō)道：先生，我的女主人向您致以親切的問(wèn)候，并希望您收下這些兔子，這是她兒子今天早晨在地里打的。
The boy answered, Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.
小廝回答說(shuō)：謝謝你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的.兒子致謝，謝謝他們的關(guān)心。這兩個(gè)先令是送給你本人的。
The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.
博士笑了，打那以后，斯威夫特從沒(méi)忘記送小費(fèi)給小廝。
含糊的概念帶給我的好處--雙語(yǔ)幽默笑話
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications(資格證書(shū)，職位要求) . Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
第一次求職時(shí)，我意識(shí)到在列舉我所具備的為數(shù)不多的條件時(shí)，得有點(diǎn)創(chuàng)造性。當(dāng)問(wèn)及我是否受過(guò)其它的培訓(xùn)時(shí)，我老實(shí)地回答說(shuō)我花了三年時(shí)間學(xué)計(jì)算機(jī)程序設(shè)計(jì)課。我得到了那份工作。
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
我沒(méi)有提到那門(mén)功課我重復(fù)學(xué)了三年才考及格。
神奇的大鐘--雙語(yǔ)幽默笑話
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den(私室，賊窩) . What is the big brass gong(鑼) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?
一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。那個(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?他的一個(gè)朋友問(wèn)他。那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個(gè)會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘，學(xué)生回答。這鐘怎么工作的，他的朋友問(wèn)。
Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!
看著，別眨眼了，那學(xué)生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽(tīng)到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，別敲了，你這白癡!現(xiàn)在是凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘了!
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