諧音英語(yǔ)笑話大全笑破你的肚子400字

　　由于我的打印機(jī)不能打印出清晰的字來(lái)，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說(shuō)我的打印機(jī)也許只是需要清理一下。更多英語(yǔ)笑話盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生笑話網(wǎng)。

　　請(qǐng)把胡子還給我

　　A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.

　　“Two pence,” said the man.

　　“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”

　　The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.

　　“A penny,” said the barber.

　　“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”

　　一個(gè)賣(mài)掃帚的人去理發(fā)店修面。理發(fā)師從他那里買(mǎi)了一把掃帚。當(dāng)理發(fā)師給他修面后，問(wèn)一下他掃帚的價(jià)格。

　　買(mǎi)掃帚的人說(shuō)：“兩個(gè)便士。”

　　“不，不。”理發(fā)師說(shuō)：“ 我只出一個(gè)便士，如果你認(rèn)為不夠的話，可以把掃帚拿回去。”

　　賣(mài)掃帚的人拿回了掃帚，隨后問(wèn)修面要付多少錢(qián)。

　　“一便士。”理發(fā)師說(shuō)。

　　賣(mài)掃帚的人說(shuō)：“我給你半個(gè)便士，如果不夠的話，請(qǐng)把我的胡子還給我。”

　　相親

　　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　和盲約對(duì)象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開(kāi)了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說(shuō)：“有個(gè)不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì)對(duì)象說(shuō)，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　Boss's idea

　　When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

　　Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.

　　Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

　　"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."

　　由于我的打印機(jī)不能打印出清晰的字來(lái)，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說(shuō)我的打印機(jī)也許只是需要清理一下。

　　他還說(shuō)，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費(fèi)，讓我最好看看使用手冊(cè)自己試著清理。

　　當(dāng)時(shí)我真的被他的話感動(dòng)了，就問(wèn)他：“你們老板知道你這樣拒絕生意么?”

　　“事實(shí)上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因?yàn)槿绻�我們讓用�?hù)先自行修理打印機(jī)的話就能掙更多的錢(qián)。”

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