越看越好看的英語笑話

　　導語：你知道學些笑話的好處么?當?shù)谝淮我娒娴臅r候，總是有不知道該說什么的尷尬，這時候你就需要一些笑話，來緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了越看越好看的英語笑話，希望能對你有所幫助哈!

　　1、 "Caller: ""I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?""."

　　2、 "A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna(金槍魚), a small jar of mayo(蛋黃醬), a small lemon and a very small box of teabags. When he came to the counter the girl at the cashregister smiled at him and said; ""Dearest, You must be single.""

　　......"

　　3、 "A cop spotted a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Coming up beside her, he said, ""Pull over!""

　　""No,"" she replied, ""a pair of socks!"""

　　4、 "A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

　　The carpenter replied ""twenty seven feet, six and one half inches"".

　　""What? How come you are so sure of that distance?"", asked the judge.

　　......"

　　5、 The soldier was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

　　......

　　6、 "Teacher had set his class an essay in ""A Game of Cricket"". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: ""Rain stopped play."""

　　7、 "Young Lady: "" Your novel has a charming ending.""

　　Author: "" What do you think of the opening chapters?""

　　Young Lady: "" I have not got to them yet!""Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Brack, ""Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.""

　　""Why did it make you late?"" inquired the teacher.

　　......"

　　8、 "Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

　　Tom: Men.

　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

　　Tom: Twins."

　　9、 "A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

　　Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying ""A dollar per point.""

　　......"

　　10、 "Farmer Jones picked a big red apple and handed it to the boy saying, ""Watch out for worms.""

　　""When I eat apples,"" replied the boy, ""the worms have to watch out for themselves."

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