令人捧腹的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：生活是個(gè)大染缸，有悲苦有歡樂(lè)，大家都厭惡悲痛而親近歡樂(lè)，接下來(lái)小編就為大家整理了令人捧腹的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全，希望能為大家?guī)?lái)一絲歡樂(lè)。
令人捧腹的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)大全
1 One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一個(gè)城市里的'游客來(lái)到一個(gè)小鄉(xiāng)村，在鄉(xiāng)間路上開(kāi)著車(chē)，想看看農(nóng)莊是什么樣子，也想看看農(nóng)夫怎樣種田過(guò)日子。這位城里人看見(jiàn)一位農(nóng)夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱著一頭豬，并把它舉得高高的，好讓它能夠吃到樹(shù)上的蘋(píng)果。城里人對(duì)農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，"我看你的豬挺喜歡吃蘋(píng)果的，但是，這不是很浪費(fèi)時(shí)間嗎?"那位農(nóng)夫 回答說(shuō)，"時(shí)間對(duì)豬有什么意義?"
2 a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"
3 I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist:What's your problem?
Patient:I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?
Patient:Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫(yī)師：你哪里不舒服?
病人：我認(rèn)為我是一只雞.
精神病醫(yī)師：這種情況從什么時(shí)候開(kāi)始的?
病人：從我還是一只蛋的時(shí)候開(kāi)始.
4 The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
魚(yú)網(wǎng)
你能告訴我魚(yú)網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安? 老師發(fā)問(wèn)道。
把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚(yú)網(wǎng)了。 小女孩回答道。
5 The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客
一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了.他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓,找中間那個(gè)門(mén),然后用你的胳膊肘按門(mén)鈴.門(mén)開(kāi)了之后,再用你的腳把門(mén)推開(kāi).”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊.天哪,你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”吝嗇鬼回答.
6 a great man Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名偉人
老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會(huì)是一名偉人嗎? 學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹�，還沒(méi)有人活到400多歲。
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