英語爆笑糗事段子
你知道學(xué)些笑話的好處么?當(dāng)?shù)谝淮我娒娴臅r(shí)候，總是有不知道該說什么的尷尬，這時(shí)候你就需要一些笑話，來緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了英語爆笑糗事段子，希望能對你有所幫助哈!
英語爆笑糗事段子一：Good wishes 良好的心愿
One day a boy came to his teacher and said: Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast(烘烤) pig.
I certainly do, said the teacher, and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me.
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy: I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig.
Yes, said the boy, he did intend to, but the pig got well.
一天有個(gè)男孩去對他老師說：老師，我爸想知道你是不是愛吃烤豬肉。
當(dāng)然啰，老師說，去告訴你父親，多謝他想著我。
好幾天過去了，再?zèng)]提起烤豬肉的事兒。
最后老師對男孩說：我以為你父親要給我送點(diǎn)烤豬肉來呢。
是啊，孩子說，他是這么想的.，可后來豬又沒病了。
英語爆笑糗事段子二：Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?
Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.
She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”
But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”
Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，
then green again，but her car did not start.
“What am I going to do now?” She said.
But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”
格林太太八十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車，每逢星期六她總是開著這輛車去購買食品。
因?yàn)槟昙o(jì)大了，格林太太車子開得不快，不過她開車技術(shù)很高，從來沒有出過事。有時(shí)她的孫子孫女們對她說：“奶奶，您別開車了，我們可以送您去商店。”
但她總是說：“不，我喜歡開車。我已經(jīng)開了五十年了，現(xiàn)在還不想撒手。”
上星期六，她看見交通燈是紅色就剎住了車。后來車子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉(zhuǎn)為黃色，然后轉(zhuǎn)為紅色，又轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榫G色，可她的車子還是發(fā)動(dòng)不起來。
“現(xiàn)在我該怎么辦呢?”她說。
這時(shí)一位警察走過來，和氣地對她說：“早上好，今天交通燈的顏色沒有一樣您喜歡嗎?”
英語爆笑糗事段子三：Three Surgeons
Three famous surgeons were bragging about(吹噓，炫耀) their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist(小提琴家) ." "That's nothing," said another. "A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched(縫紉，裝訂)them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner."
"I can top both of you," said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior(后部，臀部) - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate."
三個(gè)有名的外科醫(yī)生正在吹噓他們的技術(shù)，“一個(gè)人斷了一只手，他來找我，”一個(gè)說，“如今那個(gè)人是個(gè)音樂會(huì)的小提琴手。”
“這算不了什么，”另一個(gè)說，“一個(gè)家伙兩條腿斷了，他來找我，我將它們接了回去。如今，那人是馬拉松選手。”
“我比你們兩個(gè)都強(qiáng)，”第三個(gè)說，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的車禍，除了一個(gè)馬屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都沒有留下。如今，那人坐在美國參議院里。”
英語爆笑糗事段子四：Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications(資格證書，職位要求) . Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
創(chuàng)造性
第一次求職時(shí)，我意識到在列舉我所具備的為數(shù)不多的條件時(shí)，得有點(diǎn)創(chuàng)造性。當(dāng)問及我是否受過其它的培訓(xùn)時(shí)，我老實(shí)地回答說我花了三年時(shí)間學(xué)計(jì)算機(jī)程序設(shè)計(jì)課。我得到了那份工作。
我沒有提到那門功課我重復(fù)學(xué)了三年才考及格。
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