爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)
幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說(shuō)笑話，還要懂得他人說(shuō)的笑話，來(lái)測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)一：電子郵件
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.
有個(gè)人去牙買(mǎi)加度假，
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
他的妻子正好出差，所以打算在他到之后的第二天去找他。
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
他到了賓館，想要給妻子發(fā)封郵件，
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
但是記著郵箱的紙找不到了，于是他憑著記憶把信發(fā)到了一個(gè)郵箱。
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
很不幸，他漏掉了一個(gè)字母，因此他的信發(fā)到了一個(gè)老傳教士的妻子的郵箱里，而傳教士恰好在前一天去世了。
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
悲痛的老婦人察看郵箱，看著顯示器屏幕她尖叫一聲，隨后就倒在地上死去了。
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
聽(tīng)到她的聲音，家人趕忙跑進(jìn)她的房間，只見(jiàn)這樣一句話顯示在屏幕上：“親愛(ài)的，快來(lái)吧。為了你明天的到來(lái)，一切都準(zhǔn)備好了。愛(ài)你的丈夫。
Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
順便說(shuō)一句，這里可真夠熱的'。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)二：Beautiful Hat 漂亮的帽子
Mr Jones had a few day's holiday, so he said, "I am going to go to the mountains by train."
He put on his best clothes, took a small bag, went to the station and got into the train. He had beautiful hat, and he often put his head out of the window during the trip and looked at the mountains. But the wind pulled his hat off.
Mr Jones quickly took his old bag and threw that out of the window too. The other people in thecarriage laughed. "Is your bag going to bring your beautiful hat back?" they asked.
"No," Mr Jones answered, "but there's no name and no address in my hat, and there's name and an address on the bag. Someone's going to find both of them near each other, and he's going to send me the bag and the hat."
瓊斯先生有幾天假期，于是他說(shuō)：“我要乘火車山區(qū)度假。”
他穿上最好的衣服，拿了一個(gè)手提包，到了火車站上了車。他戴了一頂漂亮的帽子。在旅途中不時(shí)地把頭伸向車窗外觀看山中的風(fēng)景，結(jié)果他的帽子被風(fēng)吹跑了。
瓊斯先生立即拿起自己的拎包，把它也扔到了窗外。車廂里的乘客都笑了，他們問(wèn)瓊斯先生：“難道拎包會(huì)把你漂亮的帽子找回來(lái)嗎?”
“不會(huì)。”瓊斯先生說(shuō)，“但是，我的帽子上面沒(méi)有姓名也沒(méi)有地址，可我的包上卻又有姓名又有地址。有人會(huì)在不遠(yuǎn)的地方發(fā)現(xiàn)這兩樣?xùn)|西，然后他會(huì)把帽子連同帽子一起寄給我的。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)三：酒后駕車
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
一天深夜，一名警察去一個(gè)經(jīng)常有人鬧事的酒吧門(mén)口巡邏，為了避免有酒后駕車的情況發(fā)生。
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
酒吧打烊了，他看見(jiàn)一個(gè)家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出來(lái)，一下摔在路邊，隨后又用鑰匙試著開(kāi)了五輛車的門(mén)才找到他自己的車。
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
坐進(jìn)車?yán)铮脦追昼娝侄际窃诿切╄�匙。
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
這時(shí)人們都從酒吧出來(lái)并且開(kāi)車走了。最后他也發(fā)動(dòng)了車子準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)走，
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
警察已經(jīng)等這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)很久了，他打開(kāi)燈，把司機(jī)從車?yán)锢鰜?lái)，給他宣讀了他所享有的法定權(quán)利，然后作了酒精的測(cè)試。
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
測(cè)試的結(jié)果是零，
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
于是困惑的警察問(wèn)他是為什么，
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"
司機(jī)說(shuō)：“今晚他們派我當(dāng)誘餌。”
爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全帶漢語(yǔ)四：How much English can you speak?
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
"法官先生，我的當(dāng)事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來(lái)到紐約，幾乎不認(rèn)路。而且，他只會(huì)說(shuō)幾個(gè)英語(yǔ)單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問(wèn)道："你會(huì)說(shuō)多少英文?"
被告抬起頭，說(shuō)："把你的錢(qián)包給我!"
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