爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短文
笑話來(lái)源于生活,經(jīng)過(guò)藝術(shù)加工的語(yǔ)言形式,是藝術(shù)化的語(yǔ)言。下面小編馬上為你帶來(lái)幾篇爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短文,希望你會(huì)喜歡。
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短文一:Strange Name For Cats
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短文二:各種測(cè)試
My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight,plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview,the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant,"Can you see that hill over there?"
炮兵司令和我一起給一群申請(qǐng)去好外炮兵部做偵察員的.報(bào)名者面試。能勝任這個(gè)職務(wù)的人必須眼力好,反應(yīng)快.在面試中,司令指著一英里外的一座小山問(wèn)一個(gè)年輕的軍士:
“你能看到那座山嗎?”
"Yes,sir, "he replied.
“是的,長(zhǎng)官.”他回答。
"Can you see the radio antenna on that hi11?"Again, the soldier said that he could." Well,then," the commander went on,”can you see the bird sitting on the antenna?"
“你能看到山上的雷達(dá)天線嗎?”
The sergeant leaned forward and squinted.”No,sir,”he said,"but I can hear it singing.“
“是的,長(zhǎng)官。”他又一次回答.
He got the job.
“那好,”司令繼續(xù)說(shuō):“你能看見(jiàn)天線上有只鳥(niǎo)嗎?”
這名軍士把身體往前傾了傾,瞇起眼睛,“不,長(zhǎng)官,”他說(shuō),“但我聽(tīng)得見(jiàn)它在叫.”
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短文三:客人
We had invited our friends Bob and Sheila to a special dinner. While my wife,Lee,prepared the meal,I rushed out to buy just the right wine.
我們邀請(qǐng)了朋友鮑博和舍拉來(lái)吃晚飯。趁妻子在做飯時(shí),我買了一瓶佐餐葡萄酒。
Everything seemed perfect as we sat down at the dinner table,until I noticed that the ice bucket held an inferior wine.“Honey,“I said,”please bring out the bottle I purchased tonight. Bob and Sheila deserve better than this.“
大家就座了,一切都那么滿意,直到我發(fā)現(xiàn)放好冰塊的酒是一種劣質(zhì)酒.“親愛(ài)的,”我喊道,“請(qǐng)把我今晚買的酒拿出來(lái)。鮑博和舍拉應(yīng)該喝比這種好的酒。”
"Dear,"Lee replied quietly, "Bob brought the wine.”
“親愛(ài)的,”妻子平靜地說(shuō):“這酒是鮑博買的。”
爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話短文四:Directions
A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property. He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer.
"Do you know how I can get to Route 91?" the driver asked.
The farmer thought for a few seconds. Then he said, "Nope."
"Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?" the driver asked.
"Nope."
"How about the town of Hadley. Do you know which direction it is from here?"
"Nope."
Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. "You don't know very much, do you?" he said.
"Nope," the farmer replied. "But I'm not lost."
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