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超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話

時(shí)間:2020-11-05 11:39:15 英語(yǔ)笑話 我要投稿

超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話

  有笑話,大家一起笑,這就是分享快樂(lè),也許,快樂(lè)就是這么簡(jiǎn)単。下面小編為你帶來(lái)超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話,希望你會(huì)喜歡。

超好笑的'英語(yǔ)笑話

  超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話一:hings Have Been Okay

  A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."

  "You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?"

  "Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."

  一切都正常

  一對(duì)年輕夫婦有個(gè)兒子,已經(jīng)四歲了,還沒(méi)有開(kāi)品說(shuō)話,他們對(duì)此深感焦慮。他們帶他去找專(zhuān)家診治,但醫(yī)生們總覺(jué)得他沒(méi)有毛病。后來(lái)有一天早上吃早餐時(shí),那孩子突然開(kāi)口了:“媽媽?zhuān)姘窘沽恕?rdquo;

  “你說(shuō)話了!你說(shuō)話了!”他母親叫了起來(lái)。“我太高興了!但為什么花了這么長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間呢?”

  “哦,在這之前,”那男孩說(shuō),“一切都很正常。”

  超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話二:Genie

  A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses.

  On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."

  The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course.

  The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let's go up there, apologize, and see how much this is going to cost."

  They walked up and knocked on the door. A voice said, "Come on in. They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer.

  A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window?"

  "Uh, yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied.

  "No, actually, I want to thank you. I'm a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes -- I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

  "Okay, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

  "No problem -- it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife.

  "I want a house in every country of the world," she said.

  "Consider it done," the genie replied.

  "And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.

  "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

  The husband looked at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care."

  The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours.

  After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband, anyway?"

  "Thirty-five," she replied.

  "And he still believes in genies? ... That's amazing."

  超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話三:Meals on Wheels

  Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful -- she had to sleep in cold backalleys, where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way -- but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on.

  The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy.

  A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth.

  The earth was no better for them than it was the cat.

  They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people. God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates.

  One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven. She explained that it was absolutely wonderful.

  The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.

  超好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話四:Who Is This 你是哪一個(gè)?

  My two sister and I were all away at various colleges at the same time. One day, after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, I phoned home for some consolation1 and understanding of my unique problems.

  When my dad answered, I immediately launched into my litany(連禱,冗長(zhǎng)故事) offrustrations2 with college life. As I paused to catch my breath, he said, "O.K., honey...now, fist of all, who is this?"

  我和兩個(gè)妹妹同時(shí)離開(kāi)家去不同的大學(xué)讀書(shū)。經(jīng)歷了太多的危機(jī),也厭倦了受到與其他大學(xué)生相同的對(duì)待之后,有一天我給家里打了個(gè)電話,就我獨(dú)有的問(wèn)題尋求安慰和理解。

  爸爸接起電話后,我立刻開(kāi)始?xì)v數(shù)我大學(xué)生活中的挫折。當(dāng)我停下來(lái)歇口氣時(shí),爸爸說(shuō):“好啦,親愛(ài)的...現(xiàn)在,首先告訴我,你是哪一個(gè)?”



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