幽默的英語笑話

時(shí)間：2020-10-23 10:57:40 英語笑話我要投稿

幽默的英語笑話精選

　　笑一笑十年少，有時(shí)候正兒八經(jīng)的說笑話卻覺得不好笑，可是一個(gè)很冷的笑話卻能讓自己笑良久，你有這樣的經(jīng)歷么?現(xiàn)在，一起來開心爆笑下吧!

幽默的英語笑話精選

　　幽默的英語笑話精選一：Buy a Parrot

　　A preacher is buying a parrot."Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher."Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him."Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.""Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?""I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

　　一個(gè)傳教士在買鸚鵡。“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。“哦，絕對不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。“你看見它腿上的這些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右面的這根，它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng)，當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左面的那根，它會(huì)背誦贊美詩”“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩條繩子，會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”“我會(huì)從樹干上掉下去的，你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

　　幽默的英語笑話精選二：向肖伯納求婚

　　Once a beautiful and dissolute British actress wrote to propose marriage to Bernard Shaw. She said she did not mind Bernard Shaw’s old age and ugliness because he was a genius. And if they could combine the beauty of the woman with the talents of the great man，that would be greatly harmonious. “With your wisdom and my appearance，our children must be perfect.”

　　英國有位美貌風(fēng)流的女演員，曾寫信向肖伯納求婚。她說，因?yàn)樗莻€(gè)天才，她不嫌肖伯納年邁丑陋。假如能使女郎的美貌和超人的.天才結(jié)合，那該是多么協(xié)調(diào)啊。“咱們的后代有你的智慧和我的美貌，那一定是十全十美了。”

　　Bernard Shaw answered，in a letter，that her imagination was splendid，“But，what if the children take my appearance and your wisdom?”

　　肖伯納給她回了一封信說，她的想象很是美妙，“可是，假如生下的孩子外貌象我，而智慧又象你，那又該怎么辦呢?”

　　幽默的英語笑話精選三：The poor husband

　　"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　可憐的丈夫

　　“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的。”

　　Who's More Polite?

　　A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

　　誰更有禮貌?

　　一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因?yàn)樗?jīng)常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認(rèn)為他更有風(fēng)度，因?yàn)闊o論什么時(shí)候他在車上給別人讓座時(shí)，總有兩位女士能坐下。

　　幽默的英語笑話精選四：Dying Man

　　最后的坦誠

　　As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you thetruth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I wasworking late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept withdozens of them."His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you thepoison?"

　　一個(gè)男人在臨死之前向他的妻子傾訴說：“我死之前必須告訴你一些事情的真相。在我們的整個(gè)婚姻中，我一直都在欺騙你。在那些我告訴你我會(huì)工作到很晚的夜里，我是和其他女人在一起。而且還不止一個(gè)女人。我曾經(jīng)和很多女人睡過覺。他的妻子平靜地看著他，說道：“你為什么沒有想到是我給你下的毒藥呢?”

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