經(jīng)典爆笑英語冷笑話

　　幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說笑話，還要懂得他人說的笑話，來測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!

　　經(jīng)典爆笑英語冷笑話篇一：

　　One Side of the Case 一面之辭

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　一位法官問我們這群修補(bǔ)陪審員是否有人應(yīng)當(dāng)免權(quán)。一個(gè)人舉起了手。

　　“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。

　　“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭。

　　“你將被允許加入陪審團(tuán)，”法官宣布。“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”

　　經(jīng)典爆笑英語冷笑話篇二：

　　Two Soldiers

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

　　兩個(gè)士兵

　　軍營里有二名士兵，一個(gè)叫喬治，一個(gè)叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”

　　比爾說：“有。”然后把信紙和信封給了喬治。

　　喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢。”比爾又把自己的'筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

　　這時(shí)比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

　　比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。

　　喬治說：“請(qǐng)幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。

　　“你還要什么?”比爾問。

　　喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

　　經(jīng)典爆笑英語冷笑話篇三：

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學(xué)生的觀后感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長(zhǎng)得更高一點(diǎn)兒，那么他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　經(jīng)典爆笑英語冷笑話篇四：

　　My friend's preparations for a visit from her children included a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind' her,"My children are in their 20's,and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?"

　　我的朋友為其子女的光臨做著一些準(zhǔn)備工作。這些工作當(dāng)然包括要到銀行去一超。當(dāng)她在出納員的窗外排隊(duì)等候時(shí),她對(duì)她身后的一位中年男子說:“我的孩子們都20多歲了,可我仍然得給他們錢。這種事什么時(shí)候才算完呢?”

　　"I'm not sure,"the man replied while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand,"but I`m not the one to ask. I'm here to deposit a check my mother gave me."

　　“我可不知道。”那位男子邊回答邊不安地看著手里拿著的那張紙。“我可不是你該問的人,我到這兒是來支取我媽媽給我的支票的。”

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