英語(yǔ)笑話精彩合集
笑話是幽默的載體，一個(gè)成功的笑話能流傳千古，聽(tīng)者和講者都會(huì)感到快樂(lè)、欣喜，拍掌叫好!以下是小編為大家準(zhǔn)備的英語(yǔ)笑話精彩合集，一起來(lái)爆笑吧!
年長(zhǎng)者階層
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!醫(yī)生按期來(lái)探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫(yī)生聽(tīng)了也很高興，為此，他彎下腰來(lái)親了她一下。然后他說(shuō)不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，并要求她還他一個(gè)吻。醫(yī)生走后，我母親厭惡地?fù)u搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說(shuō)，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”
英語(yǔ)笑話精彩合集(二)
保證沒(méi)走錯(cuò)To be on the Safe Side
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.
在一家電影院里，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來(lái)，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。
A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
幾分鐘后，他回到那排位子并問(wèn)坐在首位的'那位男士道：
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
“對(duì)不起，請(qǐng)問(wèn)我剛才出去的時(shí)候是踩著你的腳嗎?”
"Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
“是的，不過(guò)沒(méi)什么關(guān)系，一點(diǎn)也不疼。”
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
“噢，不，我不是這個(gè)意思。我只是想確認(rèn)一下這是不是我的那排位子。”
英語(yǔ)笑話精彩合集(三)
沒(méi)把頭發(fā)全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麥爾斯有時(shí)在上班時(shí)間去理發(fā)館理發(fā)，但這是違反辦公室規(guī)定的：職員只能利用自己的時(shí)間理發(fā)。一天，正當(dāng)麥爾斯理發(fā)時(shí)，經(jīng)理碰巧也進(jìn)來(lái)理發(fā)，而且就坐在他旁邊。“你好，麥爾斯，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)。“我看到你在上班時(shí)間理發(fā)了。”“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認(rèn)了�？上壬憧�，頭發(fā)是在上班時(shí)間長(zhǎng)的。“不全都是吧，”經(jīng)理立刻說(shuō)，“有一些是在你自己的.時(shí)間里長(zhǎng)的。”“對(duì)呀，先生，你說(shuō)得很對(duì)。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說(shuō)，“但我并沒(méi)有把頭發(fā)全都剪掉啊。”
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