風(fēng)趣英語短笑話

　　人生在世，難免會有不開心的時候，這種時候，一則笑話能讓我們變得開心，今天我們就一起來看看風(fēng)趣英語短笑話吧!

　　風(fēng)趣英語短笑話(一)

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　"He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

　　"No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!"

　　"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

　　杰克到一所大學(xué)去學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結(jié)束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格。學(xué)校讓他退學(xué)。然而，杰克的父親決定去見教授，強(qiáng)烈要求讓杰克繼續(xù)來年的學(xué)業(yè)。

　　“他是個好孩子，”杰克的'父親說：“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進(jìn)步，學(xué)期結(jié)束時，他一定會考好的。”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答。“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破侖什么時候死的，他都不知道。”

　　“先生，請?jiān)俳o他一次機(jī)會吧。”杰克的父親說：“你不知道，恐怕是因?yàn)槲覀兗覜]有訂報(bào)紙。我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”

　　風(fēng)趣英語短笑話(二)

　　In 2005 Japan made a new robot. It can take care of a child. The new robot is called iPapero. It weighs 13.2 pounds, and has a body of 15.2 by 10.3 and by 9.8 inches.

　　2005年，日本制造了一個新的機(jī)器人。它會照看小孩。這個新機(jī)器人叫做iPapero。它13.2磅重，身體是15.2×10.3×9.8英寸。

　　iPapero is a small robot, but it has many special skills. It can recognize and remember up to ten faces and use its eight separate electronic ears to understand human voices even in noisy situations. It also plays games with children when they are unhappy, or sing songs or ask quizzes to entertain the child. If the child is bored, iPapero will change new songs and quizzes so that it doesn't repeat itself. The robot babysitter even has a cell phone to call a parent when the child asks for his mother.

　　iPapero是個小機(jī)器人，但它有很多特殊的技能。它能識別和記憶多達(dá)十張臉，即使是在吵鬧的情況下，它也能用它八只分開的電子耳朵聽懂人的聲音。當(dāng)孩子們不高興時，它還和他們玩游戲、唱歌或猜謎語讓他們開心。如果孩子感到無聊了，他會換新的歌和謎語，這樣就不會重復(fù)。這個照看小孩的機(jī)器人甚至還裝有移動電話，當(dāng)孩子找媽媽時，可以用它打電話給父母。

　　風(fēng)趣英語短笑話(三)

　　他去吃早餐，他想要2片面包，服務(wù)員只拿了1片，他說“I want two pieces ",服務(wù)員聽成了“I want to piss”(我想拉屎)。他又說“I want two pieces on my plate"，然后服務(wù)員就罵他“you're a son of bitch”(你這狗·娘·養(yǎng)的)。

　　他認(rèn)為服務(wù)員說他是“son of a beach(海灘)”。然后他又去吃飯了，服務(wù)員只拿了勺子和刀，沒有叉子(fock)。他說“I want a fock”，服務(wù)員聽成了“I want to fuck”，服務(wù)員回他說“everyone want to fu·ck",他又說“I want a fock on the table",服務(wù)員聽成了“I want to fu·ck on the table"�；氐椒块g，床上沒有床單，他說“I want a sheet",服務(wù)員聽成了“I wanna shit(屎)”。

　　最后他來到前臺，工作人員向他說了句客套話“peace on you”，他卻認(rèn)為在罵他“piss on you。”，罵了人家一句“son of bitch“"我要回意大利!”

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