小學(xué)英語幽默笑話

　　one car come,one car go,two car peng peng ,one car die

　　George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”

　　“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”

　　“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”

　　喬冶敲著他朋友家的門。當(dāng)朋友的媽媽來應(yīng)門時，他問：“阿爾伯特可以出來玩嗎? ”

　　“ 不行， ” 那位媽媽說， “ 天氣太冷了。 ”

　　“ 噢，那么， ” 喬冶， “ 他的足球可以出來玩嗎?

　　Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?

　　Jack: Certainly.

　　Tom: And why?

　　Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.

　　湯姆：威廉向我借五英鎊。我該不該借給他?

　　杰克：當(dāng)然應(yīng)該了。

　　湯姆：為什么?

　　杰克：否則他就該跟我借了。

　　Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

　　A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

　　猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個答案很有意思吧?

　　Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

　　A: By treading on his corn?

　　如果你踩了農(nóng)夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會生氣的;而如果你踩了農(nóng)夫腳底的雞眼，他會更生氣。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。

　　Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

　　A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

　　因為snail(蝸牛)的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說呢?Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.”

　　上周，布萊克夫人去了一趟倫敦。她不太熟悉倫敦，結(jié)果她迷路了。突然她在一個公共汽車站附近看見一位男子。她急忙向這位男子走去，說道：“勞駕您一下!請您告訴我去醫(yī)院的路，好嗎?”這位男子笑了。他聽不懂英語。他來自德國。但是他將手伸進(jìn)了自己的衣袋里，從里面掏出了一本英語詞典。他查找到了一些單詞。然后他一字一句地說：“我很抱歉我聽不懂你說的話。”

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